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Lena Dunham is continuing to be honest about her relationship with her body.
The 32-year-old writer recently shared a side-by-side selfie of herself in her underwear from last summer looking noticeably thinner, and another picture of herself after the Thanksgiving holiday, on her Instagram. Last October, Dunham revealed she had surgery to remove her left ovary, and also underwent a total hysterectomy — the removal of one’s cervix and uterus — last February.
“Found this pic from summer 2017,” she wrote on the image from over a year ago. “I was very sick but fetishizing my own body.”
“Here I am day after Thanks G 2018,” she wrote next to the newer photo of herself. “I am happy, proud & healing and so I should fetishize this body and offer her THANX.”
Meanwhile, in a new interview with The Cut, Dunham acknowledges her polarizing nature and the past controversies she’s been involved in, prompting her to publicly apologize on multiple occasions. Dunham says her ex-boyfriend, musician Jack Antonoff, helped her come to terms with it.
“’You’re a provocateur and don’t even know it,'” she recalls him telling her. “You have to look at the fact that when you say things, you’re not just not trying to please; sometimes you’re actively trying to displease people.’ And he forced me to look at the side of myself that had that desire to poke the sleeping bear.”
“Yeah, I’m not for everyone,” she adds.
Dunham speaks candidly about Antonoff, whom she dated for five years before they split in January.
“Our relationship probably lasted longer than it should have,” she admits. “He’s a very loyal person, so he was not going to bail when the going got tough. He literally held my hand while I got an enema on New Year’s Eve while his family celebrated. But when you’re sick, so much energy goes into making sure the other person is well that you’re not even noticing maybe our schedules aren’t compatible. Maybe we want different things out of our lives. Maybe we have different attitudes about what family means. Maybe these essential questions that people have to ask themselves all the time are not being asked, because we just want to make sure that I don’t pass out at the grocery store.”
The Girls creator admits it hasn’t been easy seeing 34-year-old Antonoff move on. He is currently reportedly dating model Carlotta Kohl.
“I thought I was kind of proving weird girls can have love too,” she says. “And now he’s dating somebody who looks regular and normal and like girls are supposed to look.”
She also talks about the rumors that Antonoff dated mutual friend Lorde shortly after they split, which they both later denied. Still, Dunham says she hasn’t spoken to 22-year-old Lorde since.
“It was so embarrassing,” Dunham says of the reports. “It was awful because I felt like a weird — I don’t think anything happened between them. I can never know someone else’s life. I have never spoken to Ella [Lorde] about it. We haven’t talked since Jack and I broke up. It was awful, and I couldn’t do anything about it except trust that what he was saying to me was true.”
In addition to opening up about her split from Antonoff, Dunham also shares why she and Girls partner Jenni Konner went their separate ways.
“Maybe my illness made me impossible to be close to, maybe my fame made me impossible to be close to …I’ll work that stuff out in the future, but I was not operating in healthy relationship to the people closest to me. Now she doesn’t have to absorb whatever bullsh** I tweet that day,” she admits. “Whatever I do doesn’t have to now be hers, which, I’m sure I’d imagine if I were her, would be a relief.”
Back in July, Dunham revealed that she gained 24 pounds, and explained that even though she got more attention for her looks, her thinner body was a result of sickness. Watch below: